Land Rover jokes

Do You know any jokes that You would like to see here?
Send them to me and I will post them together with the contributors (Your) name.
zebra@annsam.se

How to know that You're a Land Rover owner:

• If You go to get the Sunday paper and You come back on Monday without it.
• If You use a hose to clean the inside and the outside.
• When the best route from point A to point B is through the mud.
• When a scratch or a dent is a beauty mark.
• You roll Your Rover over and look for it's thingy.
• Your mom and sister can't get in without help.
• You judge every hill You see by how much fun it would be to climb.
• You search for trails in an USAF helicopter.
• You puke when You see a Geo Tracker.
• You get custom pin-striping from trail brush.
• If it takes more than 6 hours to get donuts.
• When You pull into the unplowed parking spots on snowy days.
• When You take Your friends wheeling and they say "What trail - I don't see a trail!".
• Your friends won't ride with You 'cause they don't want to wind up in the desert in the middle of the night.
• When Your boss's secretary calls to "recommend" that You wash Your Rover.
• When You finally wash the mud off, everyone thinks You bought a new Rover.
• You carry emergency supplies and clothing because You never know where You will end up.
• When Your Nerf bars battle rocks and win.
• When it rains and You don't care that Your tops and doors are off.
• When You drive around to look at Christmas lights topless.
• When You change Your plugs in the parking lot at work on a break.
• If Your "Parts Dept." is on blocks behind Your house.
• When You take Your Mom wheeling and she has to help You flip the Rover back onto it's wheels again.
• You use an ice-scraper on the INSIDE of the windshield.
• You get more heat from holes in the floorboards than through the heater vents.
• Every page of Your repair manual has fingerprints.
• Passengers scream "DON'T ROLL IT!" when You take them wheeling.
• You spend more time under Your Rover than under Your significant other.
• Winter comes and you can't remember where You left the roof.
• You spend more on car washes than on insurance.
• Even worse the car wash won't let You in.
• You complain about everything but smile when You fix everything yourself.
• When You think Mud Brown should be a factory paint color.
• When You feel sorry for someone with a $60,000 Toyota Land Cruiser.
• When You have all Your credit card numbers memorized.
• When You slam the door and part of Your Rover crumbles to the ground.
• If You get asked to pick up Your co-workers in a snow storm and get paid for it.
• Your wife/girlfriend refuses to get in it.
• You are the only one on the street that doesn't plow their driveway.
• You try to run the plow trucks off the road when it snows.
• You have a high-water mark INSIDE the Rover.
• The first word out of Your 2 year old's mouth isn't Mommy or Daddy, it's rover!

Thank You, Ray Dixon and Scott C. Wickham Jr.

Not many people know that the manufacturer
of Land Rovers attempted to market a computer.
Why did they stop?
The could not find a way to get it to leak oil!

A Land Rover doesn't leak oil, it marks it's territory.

Did you hear about the man whose Land Rover didn't leak oil?
The factory took it back and worked on it until it did.

Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked the owner
"How can you tell one switch from another at night, as they all look the same ?"
"He replied, it does not matter which one you use, nothing happens !"

To the top of the page